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Wishing all of my friends and families a joyous and festive Christmas. Reflect on your accomplishments and great moments of 2012. I hope for all the best of 2013. It has been an amazing year for me - running several events, completing my first triathlon, and learning more about myself, and accepting my cane as part of who I am. As the old year comes to an end, the new year awaits with more adventures to seek and do. My hopes for 2013 would be to reach out to VI/blind people and give them the confidence to achieve their goals by sharing my experiences and words of encouragement. My goal for 2013 is to bring in as many VI/blind runners to come to Victoria BC and to participate in the Goodlife Fitness Victoria Marathon (1/2 Marathon and 8K) not only from around Canada but from other countries as well. I plan to make more time for creativity, to paint and perhaps enter my paintings in Chicago once again. These are my goals for 2013 - lets make it another memorable year! Merry Christmas Everyone !
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Team: Canadian Eh? Left to right - Chris Morrison - Guide, Richard Marsolais, George Hajecek - Guide, Chris Zonruiter, Colleen Bird - Guide, Shelley Ann Morris, Robbie Burt and Rose Kamma Sarkany Back home again after a wonderful event in California. Just over a year ago, I ran the full marathon at the California International Marathon (from Folsom to Sacramento 26.2 miles) with my guide Chris Morrison. After the awards, Rich Cardillo of USABA challenged me to bring two more VI runners from Canada to compete for the 2012 event. Well, with lots of networking, meeting new VI athletes through out the year, a team was born. Our team was called Canadian Eh? Chris Zonruiter from 100 Mile House, BC, Shelley Ann Morris (and guide, Colleen Bird from Ottawa, ON, and myself from little o'l Port Alberni, BC. Not only did we have a relay team, we also have two marathoners, Robbie Burt (Summerside Lions) from Summerside, PEI, and Richard Marsolais (and guide, George Hajecek) from Ottawa ON. With support from the Alberni Valley Lions, and my guide Chris Morrison and under the banner of 'Running for Change', we put together race support packages with running singlets and loads of goodies for all the Canadian VI runners and guides. Friday (Dec.30th) morning, Chris and I were off to do a radio interview with the Sacramento Radio station KFBK. Saturday early evening (Dec.1st) we all met at a hotel in Folsom for our pre-race dinner sponsored by the VSP Vision Care - Dr. Schermer, USABA and several Lions clubs (Land Park Lions, Folsom Lake Lions, Fort Sutter Lions and Maharlika Lions). It was an incredible night, meeting old friends and new. Chris was honored with a custom made guide bib presented by Richard Hunter. It was a proud moment. He was honored for setting up the 'Running Eyes' page on facebook to help pair VI runners with guides all over the world, giving support and advice. Well deserved! RACE DAY (Dec.2nd): It was 5:15am when the alarm went off and we were ready before our meeting time at 6:30 am for our bus to the relay transition area. Weather was ungodly...as predicted. Winds were as high as 40mph with torrential downpour. Not ideal weather but we have come all this way to do a race, I am sure most of us was thinking, ugh...i just want to crawl back into bed, but no, can't let the team down. We are tough and we will get through it. As we were driving towards the transition areas, the skies were dark and cloudy, windshield wipers going full board and the trees swaying wildly. This was going to be one heck of a run! Chris, Andy Thielen (Fort Sutter Lion) and I were waiting for Chris Zonruiter to complete the first leg of the relay. I had decided to leave my hearing aids behind not wanting to risk water damage. Good decision! We were wearing garbage bags to keep dry (HA!!! that did not work) and jumping up and down, trying to keep warm. It seems like a long time and we saw Chris Zonruiter approaching and we were excited that Chris Z made it safely through the first leg. Chris M, Andy and I were ready to run. Chris reassured Andy with last minute guiding tips and confidence to run. We were having a good time, despite the bad weather. I was thankful Chris made the first of the two legs in the relay, it meant a lot to me even though I knew, he was hurting and nursing his injury. We ran through large puddles and ankle deep flooded areas - we were SOAKED!!! Funny, we even tried avoiding some puddles but realised that it was a pointless exercise. As we approached the 2nd transition area, Chris M stayed and Andy carried on to guide me to the 3rd leg. He said many things to me during the run, I nodded my head several times in response and every now and then I would respond to some of the things he said. We picked up the pace and I wanted to finish the 15 mile run sooner rather than later. The faster I ran, the warmer I got. We passed so many people along the way, everyone running that day was inspiring, tackling the high winds and rain. Finally Andy and I saw our destination stop and met our last relay runner, Shelly Ann. Not kidding our very last step, and putting on the timing chip around her ankle, the sun came out. Shelley Ann and her sister / guide Colleen disappeared into the crowd with the sun on their backs. What a perfect ending to the race. It was then I turned to Andy and said "Andy, all this time you were talking to me, I could not read your lips most times because of the chin strap blocking my view to read your lips!" We laughed - Andy did a great job guiding a VI runner for the first time. POST RACE: Celebration time! We all met at our friends Andy Rosten and Mary Digan's home for a post race dinner party. All of the Canadian VI runners, some guides and Lions involved with the CIM weekend were there to celebrate our run. I had a surprise for our relay team - 1st place VI relay team! I was a great feeling to hand out the awards to each of the relay runners. Everyone had a great time before, during and after the California International Marathon. Way to go Canada! As it turned out, nearly 1/3 of the race participants did not show up for the run due to bad weather but every single VI/Blind runners and guides participated. Hows that for inspiration! Thank you Chris Zonruiter, Shelley Ann Morris, Richard Marsolais, Robbie Burt, George Hajecek, Colleen Bird and Chris Morrison for a great event - we were part of something BIG! and many thanks to all the Lion Clubs: Alberni Valley Lions, Land Park Lions, Fort Sutter Lions, Folsom Lake Lions, Maharlika Lions, Mary Dignan, Andy Rosten and Derek Ledda. Your support and kindness is second to none. Rose in running clothes, smiling, throwing leaves up in the air. Beautiful, colorful fall day. I think now that I am using the cane more, it seems there are less bruises, less accidents and more confidence. Really? A cane can do that? Yes, it can! With encouragement of others, particularly those who uses the cane gently pushes me on to walk the path in sweeps. The sounds of a tap side to side is becoming a familiar sound. It is a sound of reassurance, I shall not fall, but to walk with my cane standing tall. It was just weeks ago when I was feeling so much angst and fear towards my cane. Now, I feel more comfortable and I am accepting it as a part of me and who I am. Don't mistaken me, I still will not let Ushers to define me. I am still me. The cane will just be an accessory. I live in a small town where you don't see many people walking around with a white cane, so I get a lot of people staring at me. I have always cared about what people think. People staring at me, feeling pity or shock, whatever their reason is, it has always made me feel like I am second class citizen. Well, I have to stop feeling that way and get on with my journey into blindness. Yes, it is a journey into blindness and I have to explore the world with eyes that don't see and ears that don't hear well. Just because I have accepted using my cane, I will still go through the merry go around of emotions, it would not be real if I didn't. That is part of my acceptance, to allow myself to grieve and to grow as a person. Life is always about changes, that applies to everyone, including myself. For those who don't know me, I have Usher's type 2. I was born with moderate to severe hearing loss, started my education in a special class for the deaf using ASL as part of my communication. It wasn't until I was nearly 16 that I was diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa (which in my case, started with night blindness, then developed tunnel vision and now have approximately 10 degrees of peripheral vision left - healthy eyes have approx. 160 degrees). The changes is ongoing, and hopefully this disease will not take me to the path of complete darkness. For now, I see light, colors and the beauty around me, and I shall take advantage of that as much as a can, see and do as much as I can, one tap at a time. So, if you don't mind, I'm going for a run! dedicated to my friend Andrea xx Dudley, my chocolate lab on the carpet of golden leaves~ Today was my last long run before we head out to Sacramento, CA for the California International Marathon. This will be our 3rd year participating. Years 2010 and 2011, Chris and I ran the full marathon. This year, I have put together for the first time a Canadian relay team. Eight people from different parts of Canada will come together to run this event, five runners and 3 guides. Dudley (my chocolate lab) and I were out the door at 9:15am with temperature of 0 degrees. It was one of those runs that you go out of the door with no plans, no nutrition and no water. I don't know what i was thinking. We were at 12K when we hit the dike and we both needed some water. I walked him into the ladies washroom and with my hands cupped under the running water and quenched my thirst. I look at my dog and told him to drink out of the toilet bowl for his water, he kind of looks at me thinking 'surely you don't expect me to drink out of the toilet bowl!' So back to the tap, cupping my hands giving him several handfuls of water. Well, now at least we are rehydrated and ready to run the last 12K. It was a quiet run, my mind was quiet, and all I could hear was Dudley rhythmic panting as I followed the edge of the road to home. As soon as we got home the sun was starting to make her appearance, yes, it is going to be another glorious day and am thankful that it was an accident free run. A couple hours later, I had to go out and do some shopping for our Team (Canada, Eh?) goody bags. Dudley was eager to keep me company and join me for a 5K walk. So out the door we go, walking up the hill the sun was on my back and felt so good. As i looked down the sidewalk I had a shock, I saw my shadow and seen something I had never seen before. It was the silhouette of me, my dog and my cane. My eyes started to sting, water welled up, and a lump in my throat. A silent, private sob escaped my mouth. I came to realization that this is who I am now. The cane is part of me. The sadness didn't stay long, seconds later I caught myself thinking, yes, this is who I am and I have accomplished many things that I am proud of, and will continue to do so. Only now, I have company. Cane and able. Is this acceptance? Well, maybe it is beginning. I am sure many of you who is reading this, had that 'aha!' moment of realisation and self discovery. What was your moment? COMMENTS ARE WELCOME. Picture: top left - Dudley, my chocolate lab on a golden carpet of fallen leaves ~ It was an early start Sunday, laying awake before the alarm sets off for 4:30am, I really did not want to get out of bed till the alarm goes off, but I could not sleep. By 5:30, I was ready for our 2 1/2 hour journey towards south of the island. It was so dark and quiet for most of the ride to Cowichan Lake. Chris downloaded a map from Google Map, lesson #1 never take their distances literally, as we missed our turnoff and also expecting to find our last turn off sooner rather than later. Chris and I were pretty excited to do the Kinsol Trestle 1/2 a 1/2. It was an event we both had never done, and frankly was a little nervous about it being mostly a trail run. I have troubles with darkness in the trails due to night blindness and depth perception as well as peripheral vision. The colorful fallen leaves scattered all over the trail makes me dizzy and have to watch Chris's feet to avoid any accidents, and because of that, it makes it challenging for me to stay focused. We arrived in plenty of time to pick our race packages and do the usual last minute preparing for the run. We met our friend Annie in the parking lot and started walking towards the start line (15 minute walk) and enjoyed catching up with her during the walk. Suddenly we were off, we didn't even hear the start, so off we go tethered from waist to waist and running at a relaxed pace. Weather was perfect, cool and dry. I had heard that this was a hilly run, I don't mind hills, in fact, I'm pretty used to it as we live in a hilly area. But man, just about the whole run was hills! The first 3 KM was road and the rest was trails, I was surprised how groomed the trails were, not the kind of trails we usually run in at home. It felt good on the feet, no rocks jabbing under your feet or ankles rolling off a rock or two, just smooth cruising. By this time the crowds thinned out, we detached ourselves from the tether and I started to run behind Chris and followed his feet. There was a few tricky spots, leaves and some piles of rocks in the middle of a path before you hit the trestle. Fear suddenly entered my brain, we were about to run onto the trestle (rail bed is replaced with a boardwalk and wide side railings) Chris was telling me the view was incredible, but I could not take my eyes off his feet. We decided to stop on the way back to view the canyon. It was a good decision, I felt more relaxed knowing what i was running on and feeling secured. We hit the turnaround point returning to the trestle, about midway, we stopped to view the canyon and the river. It was absolutely breathtaking, I had to stick my head out between the rails (was too short to see over the rails) so I could actually see the rushing river in the deep canyon laced with trees of autumn golds. I was thinking to myself, will I ever see this view again? Will it be the same in 10 years time? or will it be a memory. Time will tell. This is what I hate about Retinitis Pigmentosa, I just don't know how much vision I will lose, if it stays stable or if I go completely blind. But I am thankful I got to see it, even if it will end up being a memory photo album. The last 3 kilometers is home stretch on the roads and my body was ready to run comfortably hard. So I pushed myself to pass as many people as I can, being ever so careful not to run too far out onto the road (normal traffic with no road closures) and some runners would yell out "CAR!" which is quite helpful. Oh, the hills, pushing up those hills was a challenge but I did not stop to walk, I pushed my way up and down all those hills and could hear some cheering in the not too far distance. Yeah, I am getting close to finishing this! Up that last hill and a couple turns the finish line was in sight! I raised my hands in triumph as I crossed the finish line. Saw Annie as I walked towards the finish line to watch Chris come in. Annie saw him first and we cheered him on to the finish. What a great run. As a result, Chris came in 5th in his age group, Annie 9th and myself 10th. Pleased? Hell ya! I have ran the Goodlife Victoria Marathon (and 1/2 marathon) since 2004 except for 2011. It was 2009 when the changes all came into play - the Visually Impaired category and the 5 minute early start. Previous races it was a struggle to run on my own, tripping over cones, constantly bumping into people, signposts and rolling in my ankles from potholes. It was extremely frustrating and stressful. Since the changes in 2009, it is like running a new event. Apart from the usual race jitters, the early race start and special bibs provided, eleviated the stress and anxieties for both the runner and guide. Saturday night, we had a nice pre-race dinner with a group of VI runners and guides. We were relaxed and ready for the morning race. It was 6:55 am, cool crisp morning and the sun was rising promising brilliance for the run. Chris and I waited in the parking lot to meet with George. For the first time I will be guided by someone else at the Goodlife Victoria 1/2 marathon. It felt strange, but i knew it was going to be okay. I had the pleasure of meeting George a couple of times while I was in Ottawa. I was lucky to find out that George was coming to Victoria to visit family on the weekend of the event and I asked him if he could guide me just in case (always good to have a back up plan). Chris, George and I walked up to the front of the start line, our bibs in place and wearing our bright singlets displaying who we are (VI runner and GUIDE). We wished each other good luck and he walked off into the crowd, I felt sadness and realised to myself, that, Chris hadn't run his own race since 2009. I was wondering how he was feeling, I am sure he had realised this too. George and I was going over some details of the tethering, stretching, smiling at the photographer. We are tethered and ready to go. Seconds to go, feeling butterflies in my stomach and thought to myself, this is going to be a good run. The horn sounded and off we went. We started off strong and had the road to ourselves, hearing the crowds cheering behind us as we start our 13.1 mile journey. We chatted pretty much the whole run, we talked about the route, early start, guiding, Running for Change, triathlons, and continuously wondering how Chris is making on. I know the hills are daunting on this route, not sure how George was liking the hills, might be hillier to what he is used to. I warned him about Dallas Road, it was going to be a long haul to the finish, up, up and up. We encouraged one another through it, and still running strong right from the start. It was about 10 mile mark when I told George that I usually detach the tether about 500 meter from the finish, and kick it in high gear. When getting near the finish, the crowds are much more manageable to run through. It was about 1KM left to the finish, and I detached myself from George. There was a group of 3 running ahead of me and I yelled "c'mon people, you don't want a blind runner passing you!" I heard George chuckle behind me and knew he will be right there if should any warnings need to be said. As I turned around the corner, nearing the finish, I can hear the crowds cheering on the runners, and George giving me a warning about the bumps in the road ahead and continued to race to the end. I love the last part of the race, I felt free and strong. George was just a step behind me, we both finished strong and energised. We walked through the finished line, received our finishing medals and grabbed some food. Standing aside away from the other incoming runners we waited for Chris to come in. It was nearly 30 minutes of waiting when George and I decided if we don't see him in 15 minutes, we were going to check the race authorities on the whereabouts of Chris, just minutes after our discussion we saw Chris coming towards us. I was so relieved to see him, he looked so relaxed and happy! We exchanged our congratulations and found out Chris had finished a 1/2 an hour earlier, and he had such a good run. It was a great event for all of us! Now we celebrate! Beer and Fish n' chips! Thank you everyone for a great event, run and company, it was a great weekend. How can something that helps us so much can give us so much grief to use? Well, at least in the beginning. Acceptance will come in due time. Recently, I had a few spills and got me to rethink about the cane. I never really used it a lot, mostly when traveling alone or in places that are new to me or hanging on to someone's arm and often, I forget it at home. It really hit home with me when i took my last fall. It was his wise and simple words, "its time" that got through me. I know, I know, I heard it many times before, people tell me all the time that I should be using the cane, but I guess I just wasn't ready. Now, I am ready to use it full time. I have to learn not to worry about what other people think, maybe it is just me about how I think? Society label us to identify us of WHAT we are: cane/blind, wheelchair/crippled, hearing aids/deaf, etc. not WHO we are. It is black and white, no grey areas, because it is just easier for society to understand. But it is mostly GRAY! Most of us do have some sight, so few are completely blind. Is it a wonder how society cannot grasp on how we are so capable of doing so many things? We are not heroes, or amazing, we are people who do things just like everyone else, just differently. Be not afraid and ask us questions, if society is not accepting of what we are, then how are we to grow as who we are? Now, I have to practice this, every day, with my cane. Acceptance, time will tell. Day 3...with my cane. Ever thought about being a guide? This past weekend, Chris and I went to run the Goodlife Victoria 1/2 Marathon (13.1mi) and at the expo, we wore bright pink shirts with a message on it, it read: Guide's Blind Runner (mine) and Blind Runner's Guide (Chris) ASK ME. We put this idea together in hopes of gaining some interests from other runners to ask us about guiding. There is a surprising amount of Blind/Visually Impaired runners out there and needing support in their training and racing. Some have even given up on doing the sports they love to do because there is the lack of resources and support. I can't speak for guides about their experiences other than all being positive, but I can speak for the Blind/VI runners. It is more than just ditching potholes and avoiding poles, it is bringing confidence in us, keeping us active, building friendships, and breaking barriers. It is a powerful and selfless act. If you think it is a difficult to do, its not. It is as simple as communication and adaption. I have been so fortunate to have Chris as my guide for several years and to be guided by Diane, Robyn and George in Ottawa and Victoria. It was networking with other organizations that helped me get the support. (Won with One and Achilles Canada). The groups all have a common goal, to break barriers and misconceptions of Blind/VI athletes, share the passion of sports and to show people we are able. Think about it, talk to others about it, get involved. As for references and resources, contact me via email and I can give you links to great resources and contacts. Guides and Blind/VI athletes, please post your comments of what guiding means to you. If you are on Facebook, check out these links (copy and paste link onto browser): http://www.facebook.com/groups/running.eyes/ (Running Eyes: Bringing Guides and Visually Impaired Runners together) http://www.facebook.com/groups/224380477574453/ (Visually Impaired Runners and Guides) I was approaching 40 and tired of being overweight. Sound familiar? I couldn't tie my shoelaces without huffing and puffing, my back was always sore and generally feeling tired all the time. Finally, I decided to do something about it. Weeks of researching on the internet about diet and exercise. I came to the conclusion that 'dieting' is not how to go about losing weight, it was about choices and portions and to start exercising. Walking was my first choice of exercise at the time, bought a pedometer and started a journal. After months of walking, I started to lose a little weight and gained more energy. By this time, walking was not so much as a challenge anymore. I saw a runner running down our main street in town, noticed how fit she looked and thought, 'that is how I want to look'. I bought myself a pair of runners the following week and walked to the local walking path and started to run. HA! little did I know how difficult it was, so I started with realistic goals, I used telephone poles and park benches as my marker for run/walk and counting in my head for how many seconds it would take me to run from one pole to the next. After awhile I gave up counting because I would lose count when distracted, so I invested in a cheap running watch. In spring of 2004, I joined our newly formed running club, here I was sitting amongst all these runners at the first AGM, they all look so fit and strong, I have to admit, I felt self conscious and intimidated. But I kept reminding myself that I will soon be fit and strong if I keep this up. As I was filling out the membership form, there was a question about health issues/conditions. Oh boy...I really toyed with that one, should I write it down? Retinitis Pigmentosa? Hearing impaired? Ushers' Syndrome? What will the people say about this? Am I a liability to the club? Will they tell me I couldn't join? It had never occurred to me about blindness and running on how this would affect me, losing weight has been my only focus. I decided to write it down and hope I could still run with the club. This was the first time in my adult years that I had to tell someone about my condition. It almost seemed like I was ashamed of it. Looking back now as I am writing this, I realized how I have come a long way with changing my attitude, confidence, accepting my condition and talking about it. I have learned so much from running, it has shaped me to who I am today. Having said all that, I LOST 46lbs! and to this day, I still keep a journal. That is why I started running 9 years ago. Would love to hear comments about why or who motivated you to get moving ~ Support is something we all need and is a necessity. I am very fortunate to have that. I will tell you a story... It all started after a great marathon run at the Royal Victoria Marathon in 2007, I belonged to a local running club and many of us ran the full marathon (my first marathon). A few of us qualified for the Boston Marathon and it was the topic at our post club run. Some of the runners were deciding that maybe 2009 is the year to go as a group and run the Boston Marathon. I was truly excited by the idea but I knew I was not able to run it, how on earth am I going to run in such an event with so many people! So, i did vocalized that i wanted to run Boston and expressed my fears and challenges. Chris Morrison (then the club president) said that he would support me as my guide. You have no idea how happy I was to hear that, and to think back now, how this very moment had changed my life forever. Since then, Chris and I been training partners, he supports me for all sports I love to do, even if he has never done something before (like cross country skiing), and a good friend. Not long after that conversation I had with Chris about him guiding me, I went to the grand opening of the Running Room store. I wanted to meet John Stanton and buy new runners. The store was crowed, and everybody was pumped up and ready to run the inaugural run. It was already dark outside and disappointed that I could not join them in the run. John had noticed that I was in my running gear and not joining the group. He came up to me and asked why I am not running, so I explained to him that I was visually impaired and can not see in the dark. He said "that is not a problem, I can guide you" and off we went for a 5K run. During that run, I learned that he sat on the board of Achilles Canada and had guided some VI runners. I could not believe how lucky I was to have found support, and I found it in the right places. It is because of these two people, I am living an active life and enjoying every minute of it! Thank you Chris for supporting me and believing in me that I can do it and thank you John for showing me how. KEEP ON KEEPING ON. Since meeting Chris and John, there are so many others that help support me through all my endeavors. |
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