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It was last year when I started my first Braille lessons and shortly thereafter had to put on hold due to moving. Just recently I reconnected with a CNIB instructor and about to play with dots again. I have always been fascinated with Braille, sweeping my fingers over the page is somewhat like of a pimpled paper
DAY 1 I just got back from my first 2 hour Braille session and I don't know why but my heart was not into it today. Perhaps because it is another acknowledgement of what is yet to come. Same way as I felt when I started to use the cane. I know it just not something you learn and master it in one day, my fingers were so cold and I could barely feel the raised dots. We each had a 1/2 of an egg carton to use it as a tactile and visual aid as a 6 dots cell and (6) paper balls for each dot to form the letters. It was a creative way to show us how it works. As we were feeling our way through the letters, I couldn't help but question why I was here. Do I need to learn this? Especially with today's technology we have so many useful aids to use to help us 'read'. Am I ready for this? Will I ever get this? In BC, there is no law that braille has to be in one form (contracted or un-contracted) when displayed in businesses or on paper. Here is an example: I traveled on my own to Sacramento, CA last summer to a RP social. When going onto the plane, I used my fingers to figure out where my seat was (there was braille on each row below the carry-on cupboards.) It did not make sense to me and I couldn't figure out the difference between letters and numbers. Had I known there was a symbol for number I may have figured it out. It was then I was glad I came to the class, I had learned something new. It really is like learning a new language. I look at this as a new challenge. DAY 2 I come to this second lesson with a better frame of mind, I have accepted the fact that I needed to learn this and yes, I may need this in the future, even with all the wonderful gadgets available to us. Simple things like going to the washroom, in a dark building would be most helpful, or while on the plane when the lights are out, have finger will travel, and to find your seat without assistance. Maybe even in a dark restaurant, your fingers will help you decide what is for dinner. I do think practicing braille can be a challenge. Maybe I will buy a slate and stylus and practice writing and reading braille, it could be fun! It certainly a cheaper alternative to buying those expensive braille printer or braille books. I actually downloaded a smart phone application called Braille Code Driller. So far, I have been practicing several times a day, that is a good start. Once I get the alphabet down, I will practice more on the braille sheets. Who knows, maybe I will sign up at Hadley School for the Blind for more classes. I am open to any tips, suggestions, and websites if you have any! Please leave a comment, I would appreciate your help.
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This weekend, I had the privilege to be a guest speaker at the District 19-I Lions Conference in Nanaimo, BC. I must say, I was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed public speaking! First, I want to thank District Governor, Leslie Smith for inviting me to speak, the presentation of an award and gift. It was a great opportunity and thoughtful. I will post my speech here for others to read. I hope this will bring more opportunities as I am very passionate to talk about this. Lion Chris and I are willing to travel to do presentations, don't hesitate to email me: [email protected] SPEECH: Excuse me if I appear nervous, it has been suggested to overcome one's nerves, is to imagine the audience naked. I can only say I'm happier to be blind. Thank you District Governor Leslie Smith for this opportunity and Lion Don for the introduction. Welcome Dr. Patti Hill, Lions, Lionesses and guests. It is an honor to be here today as a guest speaker for the District 19-I Convention. On some tables, there are envelopes, I would ask you now to open them and put the paper glasses on. This is a simulation of what tunnel vision may look like. Feel free to pass on the glasses to others so they too will see. While wearing them take note on how your surroundings change, how you feel, please take time to discuss this with others throughout the weekend. Thank you for volunteering, I hope this will help in some small way to see what I see on a day to day basis. I am now going to take you back 90 years. It is a warm sunny day of June 30, 1925 in Chicago. I suppose you have heard the legend that represents opportunity as a capricious lady, who knocks at every door but once, and if the door isn't opened quickly, she passes on, never to return. And that is as it should be. Lovely, desirable ladies won't wait. You have to go out and grab 'em. I am your opportunity, I am knocking at your door. I want to be adopted. The legend doesn't say what you are to do when several beautiful opportunities present themselves at the same door. I guess you have to choose the one you love best. I hope you will adopt me. I am the youngest here, and what I offer you is full of splendid opportunities for service. The American Foundation for the Blind is only four years old. It grew out of the imperative needs of the blind, and was called into existence by the sightless themselves. It is national and international in scope and in importance. It represents the best and most enlightened thought on our subject that has been reached so far. Its object is to make the lives of the blind more worthwhile everywhere, by increasing their economic value and giving them the joy of normal activity. Try to imagine how you would feel if you were suddenly stricken blind today. Picture yourself stumbling and groping at tnoonday as in the nights: youyr work, your independence, gone. In that dark world wouldn't you be glad if a friend took you by the hand and said, "come with me and I will teach you how to do some of the things you used to do when you could see?" That is just the kind of friend the American Foundation is going to be to all the blind in this country if seeing people will give it the support it must have. You have heard how through a little word dropped from the fingers of another, a ray of light from another soul touched the darkness of my mind and I found myself, found the world, found God. It is because my teacher learned about me, and broke through the dark silent imprisonment which held me, that I am able to work for myself and for others. It is the caring we want more than money. The gift without the sympathy and interest of the giver is empty. If you care, if we can make the people of this great country care, the blind will indeed triumph over blindness. The opportunity I bring to you, Lions, is this: To foster and sponsor the work of the american Foundation for the Blind. Will you not help me hasten the day when there shall be no preventable blindness; no little deaf, blind child untaught; no blind man or woman unaided? I appeal to you Lions, you who have your sight, your hearing, you who are strong and brave and kind. Will you not constitute yourselves Knights of the Blind in this crusade against darkness? I thank you. This was the speech of Helen Keller, things have changed since then, what hasn't changed is the Lions commitment as Knights of the Blind. It was a warm sunny day, March 22, 2014 in Nanaimo, (well, its not warm and sunny, but its a good day!) I stand here before you as a Lion, an athlete, an artist and a mother. I have Usher's Syndrome. Usher Syndrome is an inherited condition characterized by hearing impairment and progressive vision loss. The vision loss is due to retinitis pigmentosa (RP), a degenerative condition of the retina, and usually appears during adolescence or early adulthood. Balance may also be affected. Symptoms vary from person to person and progress at different rates. I was born with severe hearing loss and at the age of 16 was diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa. I started with normal vision and in my teens, I had noticed that I could no longer see well at night. The stars had already begun to fade. It is a simple fact that Retinitis Pigmentosa will eventually rob me of my sight. I have now developed tunnel vision, much like what you are seeing through the paper glasses. Most people have 180 degrees field of vision, I have approximately 10 degrees. What I have left is my central vision, the center of the tunnel. For those of you wearing the glasses, what is missing is the other stuff continuously happening in my eyes. A firework display around what used to be my normal field of vision. Those fireworks are the rod and cone cells dying. It is a constant reminder of what may eventually be the death of my sight. I cannot allow myself to dwell on this, I cannot let this disease define me. I define who I am and by that definition, I am a person of determination. I like to challenge myself in many ways. I run marathons, I swim, bike, kayak, ski, hike, paint, and I am and advocate. I started the Running for Change campaign in 2009 after doing the Boston Marathon. They had a Visually Imapired category in which I competed and placed fourth. Lion Chris was my guide and it was our first time running as a tethered team. We ran side by side for 26.2 miles. The experience changed my life forever. It gave my HOPE to carry on, knowing that ALL IS POSSIBLE and to NEVER fear darkness. Through my campaign I have make the 'Royal Victoria Marathon more accessible to the Visually Impaired and blind runners. The Visually Impaired category has been created, bringing awareness, safer starts, awards and recognition, free registrations for guides and bibs identifying guides and visually impaired runners. Canada's first marathon event ever to do this. I am proud of this accomplishment. Now the Goodlife Fitness Victoria marathon has become our signature event for the visually impaired runners funded and hosted by the Lions and Running Eyes - a facebook group started by Lion Chris Morrison to help pair runners and sighted guides toghether, to enable us to train or race as a team. The group has nearly 500 members and growing. The Alberni Valley Lions adopted my campaign in 2010 and together we raised funds for traveling to marathons and providing the Goodlife Fitness marathon dinner for the visually impaired runners and guides. We use this as an opportunity to raise awareness about guiding, inspiring others and of course to show our pride as Lions. We are the Knights of the Blind. This is our opportunity to show people how we serve, it is not just about meetings, dinners and fundraising, its about HOW WE SERVE. Lions, I am asking for your help, we need transportation, support and homes for some athletes and guides for the Goodlife Victoria Marathon 2014. I have been very fortunate to have the support from many Lion clubs and Past Presidents: Sid Scruggs III and the late Kay Fukashima. Chris and I proudly wore the Lions International logo and themes: "Beacon of Hope" and "I Believe" on the back of our race shirts to bring the Lions outside of the meeting room. It is an opportunity to tell people about who we are and what we do. I look forward to your continuing support of the Running for Change Campaign. Together, we CAN make a difference. The sky's the limit. I am happy to bring the Running for Change Campaign here along with my move to Nanaimo. I would ask my fellow Lions to accompany me on my journey. Perhaps some of you might wish to support myself and my guide as we run the Comox half marathon tomorrow morning. My final words, a quote from Helen Keller: Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. Thank you. (c) Well, it has been awhile since my last post, maybe about a year. I had made some difficult choices in my life, struggling my personal demons and grieving with yet some more vision loss. I have left my marriage of 22 years. It has taken me nearly 15 years to bring myself the courage to move on. My fears were of so many things, losing my daughter, respect from others, especially my family, and myself. I talked to myself every day saying, have courage, be brave. There is one person in my life that helped me through this, he is the pillar of my strength. He understood my fears and tells me it is going to be okay. Dark thoughts and nightmares were starting to become less and less and fear grew into courage. Most of you that know me knows who my pillar is. Chris Morrison. We have been friends for long time, we met at a running club ten years ago. He has been guiding me for about 6 years. Oh how many times have I shed tears and talked about things that I have never shared with anyone. Many emotions, stories and fears were shared on the trails. What was happening? I was unleashing a part of me that no one has seen. For about 45 years I have been struggling with nightmares of unspeakable things. I have to figure out this trauma, was it real, or is it just images that plays in my head like a broken record? Unfortunately my mom passed away 14 years ago and I never had the courage to talk about it. I have a feeling that she would of been able to answer some of my questions, I think she knew. Perhaps it might be something that I will never know. I am still working on this thing called courage. In fact, this blog is a huge step for me. Moving out was a big step for me, and moving in was a big step for me. Trust, courage and to love again, big step! More blogs to come, it is a start <smile>.
Running Eyes Logo: Eyeball with blue body as guide and black body with arm on guide. Braille underneath saying Running Eyes. Running Eyes is an online international community for VI/blind runners and guides. We share our experiences, advice and information. My guide Chris Morrison created this site a few years ago, hoping to bring guides and vi/blind runners together. Since the facebook page started, we have met many VI/blind runners at running events in both Canada and the US and had some great success in finding guides for VI/blind runners. I am very proud of Chris's accomplishment and is making a difference in the the eyes of running, pun intended. We are now nearly 250 members strong. With Chris's background in guiding (level 2 certified guide for 12 years) it is no wonder 'Running Eyes' is a success. It is inspiring to read about how they get on with their races, how they adapted, finding guides to run with, share their ideas and to be open to try new things. It motivates me everyday. You know what else I love about this? The guides!!! An unselfish act to help others pursue their goals and dreams in sports. You do make a difference and words sometimes cannot describe how much we appreciate your guiding eyes. I know this first hand, many years ago I was was depressed, overweight and scared of this journey of blindness. Eventually I found the courage to start. I started to walk, then run, followed a healthy diet and eventually lost 46lbs. As my vision worsened, I quickly learned to adapt to keep moving. I joined a local running club, there is where I met Chris. Believe it or not, my experiences as an athlete who depends on guides, helps me overcome my fears of going blind. It gives me hope and confidence to carry on, knowing there will some support. Next time you are running a race and you see a VI/blind runner, do not hesitate to ask us what it is like, what we see, how do you do it, what does a guide do, etc. We are always happy to answer your questions, in fact we thrive on it. My goal is to get as many VI/Blind runners to come join us at the Goodlife Victoria Marathon (1/2 Marathon and 8K). If this interests you, please visit or join our facebook page (click on to the Running Eye image on the OTHER STUFF page of this website and it will take you there). We would love to hear from you. Got to run now! xx Grieving is something we all do at some point in our lives for many different reasons. I believe it is good to grieve, it helps me to adapt, to be brave and to accept the loss. Like many of you, we all had experienced loss, so I am sure you understand what I am saying. I have accepted that I am going blind, but funny thing is, it is not a one shot deal. Because Retinitis Pigmentosa is a progressive disease, I continue to grieve many times over, every time there is a new change in my eye sight: the tunnel gets smaller, the flashes get brighter, the colors get duller and so forth. Funny, I don't grieve about my hearing loss, I've had it all my life and I don't know it as a loss. But with RP, I know its a continual journey of loss, because I remember what the sky looked like when I had full vision. It was vast, glittery and beautiful, and thought, even as a child, I was just a tiny little speck in all of this vastness. I remember my dad, a long time ago, laying on the grass during summer evenings and he would passionately talk about the universe and point out the stars and name them all the naked eye could see. It was magical, I remember it well. Now, many years later, I scan the skies so many times looking for those stars, all I see is blackness. But there is hope. Chris showed me that hope. He was determined that I will see stars again. One summer night he set up some pillows on the deck, turned off all the lights in the house and the world became black. I couldn't see a thing, Chris says to me "be patient, give your eyes a chance to adjust" and I'm thinking to myself, why do I need to adjust? black is black! Right? After about 20 minutes or so, he takes my hand and points to a star and says follow the line to where your finger is pointing, and you will see a star. After a few minutes of focusing I saw a flicker! I grew very quiet, and started to cry, but this time it was not because I was sad, it was because I was happy to see a star and not just one, but three stars. Chris even had a back up plan if I couldn't see stars. He then took me to another deck at the front of his house and sat me down on a chair. I hear Chris moving about behind me but kept my eyes on the deck. Suddenly, strings of lights lit up across the deck like a constellation. It was magical, and I will always remember it. Now, I have a Magnicon telescope awaiting for me to once again explore the heavenly skies. It will be magical. There is hope... water color of Cannon Beach, 2nd runner up in the Passionate Focus Art Show 2010 In today's world, there is the ever changing technology, vast information from internet and social networking and it is part of who we are today. I am thankful for the technology. If it weren't for computers, I would not have met so many wonderful people, reading about promising treatments and technical aids to help us connect with the world. In order to live our lives to the best of our abilities, we need to be honest with ourselves and to be open about it. I know by personal experiences, it has taken me a long time to tell people that I wear hearing aids and have Retinitis Pigmentosa, especially during my working years. I struggled when working, keeping this secret to myself. Why? I was afraid I would lose my job. I know I'm not alone on thinking this. I'm sure many people keep their disability a secret from their co-workers. It is such a burden on ourselves, and creates so much stress to our daily living. I had told my boss that I was going blind and felt it was too dangerous to carry on with my job and told him that I should resign. Do you know what his response was? He responded by asking me how can the company help me to keep working and offered me a different position. Wow, I was floored by that reaction. I undervalued myself once again. My mother had died 3 months earlier and I was struggling with grief which had clouded my better judgement and stuck with my decision. So, if you are thinking about leaving your job due to your disability, ask yourself, can I continue to work if I had the right tools? Talk to your employer, maybe he/she could help you to make your work environment safer. What do you have to lose? There are programs both private and government can help you to continue to work. You just have to research and network for some answers. Unfortunately, I never knew of such programs and not sure if any was available to me thirteen years ago. There is so much more out there for us now, we have to seek out and find it and sometimes it is hard work to get the things we need, but it is so worth it in the end. I know I can't change what has happened but I can share my experience to help others when you are at this point in your career. Having said all that, I do not regret my decision because it has helped me to be the person I am today. Since I have retired, I became a runner, ran 11 marathons (along with many 1/2 marathons and other distances), done a triathlon, traveled on my own, became an advocate, volunteered in different organizations, became a member of the International Lions, took up kayaking, dragon boating, skiing, yoga, rock climbing, and even entered an art show in Chicago, the list goes on. Life does not end at retirement. This is my journey into blindness. Life is good! deep pink flower, rose My inner goddess screams at me, "OMG!!, I can't believe that had just happened, this is a day I will never forget!" This tall dark stranger says to me,"Uh ma'am? That is the the men's washroom." I feel the heat rising to my face and I am sure it showed all 49 shades of red. Okay, I will explain how I got into this embarrassing situation. Chris and I was out for a long training run and we were into about 8K of our run, I drank too much water...I needed to go for a break. We run towards the public washroom and Chris pointed out to me which washroom I go in. I walk in and there was 3 stalls, I pick the furthest one. Some one walks in and does her business. After I was finished I washed and dried my hands and quickly walked out. A man walks in as I walked out, he said that I was in the men's washroom. Ah, no big deal I thought to myself, then I realized that there was a man in there! I cover my face realizing that and started to laugh. I caught Chris at the corner of my eye and said to Chris, "You never will guess what I did! I went into the mens washroom! and there was a man in there, I heard him but never saw him, I thought I was in the womens washroom and didn't think any thing of it." Chris started to laugh and said "I was just in there, I heard someone leaving but was facing in towards the urinal and didn't see the person." GAH!!!! How could this happen! How could I not see him as I was leaving the washroom! It certainly given us a lot of laughs on that run. I am sure a lot of us that are visually impaired had similar embarrassing moments. I have had many moments and will have many more. Not all moments were sight related, some were hearing related too. Like one time, I was at a sports bar (was about 21 years old at the time) and there was a magician comedian performing that night, I was chatting with friends at the table, and the comedian tapped my shoulder and said, "I need an assistant to help me with my magic trick", I politely declined, but he was persistent and my friends encouraged me to go on stage. So on the stage I go. It was dark and noisy and the microphone was sounding distorted, but I try my best to play along. He asked me my name, and then started firing all kinds of questions, and I was having such a difficult time hearing him. So I do the usual 'pretend I heard every word' and answered his questions. As he asked, I answered, the crowd roared with laughter, so I continued, since the crowds where having a good time and I figured they had too much to drink and they will forget this night. Well, as it turned out, I apparently answered the questions, how old are you? me: 21 (which was correct). Are you married? me: yes (but I wasn't, obviously didn't hear what he said), do you have kids? me: yes (NOPE! again, didn't hear the question), how many kids do you have? me: 6 (GAH!!! NO!!! I thought he really asked how long we have been dating!) I don't even remember what I did to help the magician/comedian with his trick. I just remember how much the crowd laughed and thinking I have to get off this stage! Hey, how about shopping? hmmm, mannequins, need I say more? One of my favorites, I was having a conversation about what sweaters I like and then turned to the person and asked, "what looks better, the red or the green?" Oh, snap! I hope no one saw me talking to a mannequin. Okay, how about this one... One day my mom, my daughter and I went for lunch in a restaurant at our local mall. I walked towards the washroom and a lady left the washroom with a buggy as I went in. When I finished I washed my hands and then noticed, I little girl was in the corner of the washroom staring at me, and started to cry! I was like...oh no! There is someone's child in here! I tried to calm the little girl down and then there was some furious knocking on the bathroom door and I opened the door and the mother was glaring at me, I kept apologizing to her, explained that I didn't see her in the corner. It was the most awkward moment I tell you. I felt so bad for the little girl, how frightened she must of been and the mother must be thinking that I was a mad woman that has taken her child. I could go on about all these embarrassing moments. So rest assured, it happens to all of us and the best we can do is to move on and laugh about it. Well, that was 4 of my 49 shades of Rose. I hope I brought some light into the dark. Every year people with Retinitis Pigmentosa gets together for a social. This is where we come together to share, to laugh, to make new friends and to have a good time. Check out the website: www.rpsocial.com for information. We would love to meet you. Rose at 16 years of age - highschool Well, it is White Cane week (Feb 4th - 8th) and Retinitis Pigmentosa Awareness month. I would never thought in a million years that this would mean anything to me or even know what it is. At least not until I was 16. About an hour ago, I was watching a show called E60 and there was a program about different runners with different reasons to run. Sami Stoner a teenager from Ohio was one of them. Her interview was really good and very emotional for me to watch. It all came back to me thirty two years ago. While listening to Sami's story, suddenly my vision was like looking through a thick glass, blurred with tears, and her words started to jump out at me. Diagnosis, fear, independence and anguish. Listening to Sami was like listening to myself talk 32 years ago. It truly stung me. I saw Sami's parents pain in their eyes as they talk about Sami, their tears and my tears flowed and I realized, that must of been the same for my parents, their grief must of been unbearable. I was 15 when I told my mom that I was having trouble seeing in the dark. I was out with some friends and we went rollerskating, and drinking (I never told my mother that part). I did not have too much to drink but the others were a bit drunk and we were walking home and there was this low chain link fence (about knee height) and we were swaying and walking and then suddenly, my face was on the ground and we all were laughing. Right away, I got up and continued to be jovial about my clumsiness. But inside my head, I knew something was wrong because I noticed why did I fall and no one else did? They had way more alcohol than I did, it didn't seem right. A week later, I told my mom. Again, not telling her that alcohol was involved. Next thing I know, I was being taken to the eye doctor and then was recommended that I should see a specialist. For some reason, I did not think anything was seriously wrong with me. Within a few months just after my 16th birthday, both my parents and I went to Vancouver to the UBC Eye Center. It was such a long day of tests, some tiring and some painful. The next day was only two appointments: one with a Genetics councilor and the other was a Retinal specialist. I remember so little that day. I heard the words Retinitis Pigmentosa several times, Ushers' Syndrome, blindness, tunnel vision, night blindness, and hope. Hope? What?! I am going blind?! This can't be! You see, I was born with a moderate to severe hearing loss, so I don't know what its like to hear like most, so it is something I had lived with all my life and it was no big deal. But I'm going blind? Where is the hope in that? Sweet 16, my life is still young, I want to get my driver's license, want to experience so many things, to go to university and to travel. I think I shut down for several months after that diagnosis. I don't really remember much of my 16th year. My mother was already planning for my future, looking for 'blind friendly' jobs that I could do. Mom found the perfect job, a secretary. She said, "you can learn to type and you do not need vision to see the keyboard." I remember thinking, 'wow, how much time do I have left before I go blind, so I guess this would be my only option? It is safe career and I wouldn't be able to do my dream job anyway.' Wait! Hold everything, I wanted to be an archeologist, go to Egypt and Europe to discover artifacts, study hieroglyphics and other languages. Dreams are now shattered. I felt my life was over. I am going to end up living my life as how a woman should live like in the 50's. But something inside of me says its not. So my life begins... Hope, I remember now, the doctor did say, there is always hope that you may not go completely blind and there is hope for a cure one day. That was 1981. Marathon trophy and a cane lying folded up next to it. Keeping active is a challenge for anyone, and we all know it is so important for us to keep moving in order to stay healthy. It is more so of a challenge when vision and hearing is declining. I remind myself of moving everyday with some form of exercise, adapting to new changes with my eyesight and making it work for me to continue my active lifestyle. I do keep a journal of my exercise and training. It keeps me motivated. The biggest challenge is adapting. Running, I have down to a science - tethering. I use two methods: wrist to wrist or waist to waist using just a simple skate lace and my spibelt (an elasticized waist band with a pocket for storing keys, food, etc.). Hiking, I stay low to the ground when going down on steep banks and mountainsides with support of using hiking poles. Kayaking in a tandem or following behind an other kayaker and same with cycling. Indoor rock climbing is great for VI/blind people to try, its all tactile, vision is not a requirement. I truly believe we are able to do any sport, it just takes a few key ingredients: creativity, support and practice. Confidence builds up and then we challenge ourselves to try harder, go faster or go further. I was watching a program on TV, Dr. Oz had a guest, Dr. Sanjay Gupta (he is a known Neurologist and Journalist). He made some interesting comments about how we could exercise our brains by using 'other' senses. When people do their routine things, like getting dressed in the morning, we all do it the same way. Dr. Gupta sometimes gets dressed with his eyes closed and relies on his memory and touch. This particular exercise is beneficial for memory as we age. Sometimes I do this when Chris is guiding me in a marathon, I close my eyes and rely on touch and hearing. Feeling his movement when we turn and listening to his prompts as we run. It is amazing how it works, it really does help you become more aware of your surroundings without having to use the obvious, your eyes. I believe that it will help some of us that are continuously going through visual changes. In fact (I don't believe I'm actually going to tell you this, but here goes...) I had a bad day, terrible headache and decided to have a relaxing bath. No lights, I went to the bathroom, closed the door, leaving the lights off, I ran my bath. Checking the water level, finding the epsom salt, shampoo, shaver, soap and put it where I think would be a safe spot. I get in the tub, feel the water level again and turned off the water and started to shave my legs. I did it by touch and memory, shaving very carefully and slowly and not once did I nicked my skin. After the bath, I got dressed and walked out of the bathroom. I went into my bedroom and looked in the mirror, with the lights on. Nothing was on backwards, inside out or mismatched. I used my fingers to feel the fabric, again relying on touch of what item of clothing it was and finding the label where it should be while getting dressed. I thought to myself, wow, maybe going blind won't be so bad after all. So really, using our other senses will help us to move, adapt and to be able. I am always thinking of inventive ways of adapting, because I refuse to stand still. I like how exercise makes me feel, alive and capable. I do not feel sorry for myself, about having hearing loss or going blind, it is all I know. So I make the best of what I have, and I have a lot to offer. I define who I am, not Usher's Syndrome. So, after you read this blog, get up, stretch and think of what you had given up because of your vision loss. Think about how you can get back into the things you love to do. If there is a will, there is a way. You can always contact me via email (under CONTACT page of this website) to discuss about how you can get back into sports. Start your journey today! Rose and Dudley on the Cold Creek Falls trail. Well, the holidays are over and all the baked goods are eaten, I sit here on the computer thinking, I need to get back into the groove again. About 2 weeks ago, Dudley and I went for a 10K run and just about the 9K mark, I got a sharp pain in my calf and was forced to walk the last kilometer home. I think I just experienced my first ever running injury. Never in the last eight years have I experienced an actual running injury. Most my injuries has been from falling down or from walking into things. When i fall down or walk into things, I often get very angry with myself, or just cry, because sometimes I just feel tired of the whole 'going blind' thing. Running has always helped me deal with this and it helps me focus on other things. Now I have to figure out while 'healing' from my injury what to do and it has to be something challenging. I walk into my art studio, look at my blank canvas, my quilts (18 years in the making), the sweater that needs to be completed, and the cross stitch that needs to be framed. I have put all this on hold for at least 10 years, what is holding me back? I retired from work nearly 13 years ago. It is not like I never had time, mind you, I was busy very involved with my daughter with her gymnastics, school and other community organizations. I realized looking back, I was focused, always up for a challenge, some successful, some not, and was not dealing with my blindness. Even during those years when I worked, it was not until my mothers death is when I retired and realized my vision is getting worst. I knew then, never make hasty decisions when tragedy hits your life. I also learned that when bad things happen, there is always something good that comes out of it. In this case, after my mothers' battle with lung cancer, I started to look at how I looked after myself. I was not doing a good job of it. I ate lots of junk food, processed foods and take outs and abandoned my once active lifestyle. I only blame myself for how this happened and also how I have ignored the fact that I am going blind. All the years growing up, people around me always known me as a sighted person with hearing aids. And now, when I'm walking around with my cane, some of those people avoid me. It hurts. Especially when people now see that I don't see well, they think I don't see them staring at me or when they see me and then turn the other way to avoid me. What do you do when this happens? Sometimes I feel like I just want to hit them with my cane or say something that might be hurtful. But no, I say to myself this is an opportunity to talk to people about it. Yes, some people are just plain rude, but most are just too scared to ask why or what happened or if they can help you, because they just don't know how or want to make me feel bad. I hope for those who read this, especially people who don't have vision issues, it is okay to ask! I would say the majority of people with vision issues would like to be approached, all you have to remember, we are no different than you. We just need a little help sometimes. Advice for those who do have vision issues... ASK for help when you need it. It is okay to ask for help, it does not make us a weaker person, in fact it makes us a stronger person for identifying our needs and seeking the help we need. It took me several years to ask for help and still an ongoing learning process. But I do know this, it gets easier to ask for help and it reduces so much stress in your life. Its sounds simple doesn't it? It is, it just takes a bit of practice, patience and understanding. It is a continual adjustment as vision loss progess, but also, we have to remind ourselves it is an adjustment for those who live around us as well. Like now, I have to adjust my physical activities to keep fit, not to dwell on my injury and to keep focused on what is important. I would be interested in hearing some of your comments or questions you would like to ask me about vision loss. |
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January 2018
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