Blah, BLah, BLOG
Well, it has been awhile since my last post, maybe about a year. I had made some difficult choices in my life, struggling my personal demons and grieving with yet some more vision loss. I have left my marriage of 22 years. It has taken me nearly 15 years to bring myself the courage to move on. My fears were of so many things, losing my daughter, respect from others, especially my family, and myself. I talked to myself every day saying, have courage, be brave. There is one person in my life that helped me through this, he is the pillar of my strength. He understood my fears and tells me it is going to be okay. Dark thoughts and nightmares were starting to become less and less and fear grew into courage. Most of you that know me knows who my pillar is. Chris Morrison. We have been friends for long time, we met at a running club ten years ago. He has been guiding me for about 6 years. Oh how many times have I shed tears and talked about things that I have never shared with anyone. Many emotions, stories and fears were shared on the trails. What was happening? I was unleashing a part of me that no one has seen. For about 45 years I have been struggling with nightmares of unspeakable things. I have to figure out this trauma, was it real, or is it just images that plays in my head like a broken record? Unfortunately my mom passed away 14 years ago and I never had the courage to talk about it. I have a feeling that she would of been able to answer some of my questions, I think she knew. Perhaps it might be something that I will never know. I am still working on this thing called courage. In fact, this blog is a huge step for me. Moving out was a big step for me, and moving in was a big step for me. Trust, courage and to love again, big step! More blogs to come, it is a start <smile>.
4 Comments
Linda Swenson
3/9/2014 04:05:36 am
I love your story. I have seen your courage since if first met you.
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Chris
3/9/2014 01:27:56 pm
You have the strength and great courage.
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Rose Kamma Sarkany
3/10/2014 02:39:43 pm
Thank you for your support and encouraging words Linda and Chris xx
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Nora
3/12/2014 08:40:56 am
Rose you are an inspiration and so beautiful! We see it in you and as Chris says you have the strength and courage! Hugs and love to you always!
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