Blah, BLah, BLOG
Rose and Dudley on the Cold Creek Falls trail. Well, the holidays are over and all the baked goods are eaten, I sit here on the computer thinking, I need to get back into the groove again. About 2 weeks ago, Dudley and I went for a 10K run and just about the 9K mark, I got a sharp pain in my calf and was forced to walk the last kilometer home. I think I just experienced my first ever running injury. Never in the last eight years have I experienced an actual running injury. Most my injuries has been from falling down or from walking into things. When i fall down or walk into things, I often get very angry with myself, or just cry, because sometimes I just feel tired of the whole 'going blind' thing. Running has always helped me deal with this and it helps me focus on other things. Now I have to figure out while 'healing' from my injury what to do and it has to be something challenging. I walk into my art studio, look at my blank canvas, my quilts (18 years in the making), the sweater that needs to be completed, and the cross stitch that needs to be framed. I have put all this on hold for at least 10 years, what is holding me back? I retired from work nearly 13 years ago. It is not like I never had time, mind you, I was busy very involved with my daughter with her gymnastics, school and other community organizations. I realized looking back, I was focused, always up for a challenge, some successful, some not, and was not dealing with my blindness. Even during those years when I worked, it was not until my mothers death is when I retired and realized my vision is getting worst. I knew then, never make hasty decisions when tragedy hits your life. I also learned that when bad things happen, there is always something good that comes out of it. In this case, after my mothers' battle with lung cancer, I started to look at how I looked after myself. I was not doing a good job of it. I ate lots of junk food, processed foods and take outs and abandoned my once active lifestyle. I only blame myself for how this happened and also how I have ignored the fact that I am going blind. All the years growing up, people around me always known me as a sighted person with hearing aids. And now, when I'm walking around with my cane, some of those people avoid me. It hurts. Especially when people now see that I don't see well, they think I don't see them staring at me or when they see me and then turn the other way to avoid me. What do you do when this happens? Sometimes I feel like I just want to hit them with my cane or say something that might be hurtful. But no, I say to myself this is an opportunity to talk to people about it. Yes, some people are just plain rude, but most are just too scared to ask why or what happened or if they can help you, because they just don't know how or want to make me feel bad. I hope for those who read this, especially people who don't have vision issues, it is okay to ask! I would say the majority of people with vision issues would like to be approached, all you have to remember, we are no different than you. We just need a little help sometimes. Advice for those who do have vision issues... ASK for help when you need it. It is okay to ask for help, it does not make us a weaker person, in fact it makes us a stronger person for identifying our needs and seeking the help we need. It took me several years to ask for help and still an ongoing learning process. But I do know this, it gets easier to ask for help and it reduces so much stress in your life. Its sounds simple doesn't it? It is, it just takes a bit of practice, patience and understanding. It is a continual adjustment as vision loss progess, but also, we have to remind ourselves it is an adjustment for those who live around us as well. Like now, I have to adjust my physical activities to keep fit, not to dwell on my injury and to keep focused on what is important. I would be interested in hearing some of your comments or questions you would like to ask me about vision loss.
3 Comments
1/7/2013 11:11:46 pm
Love it Rose. I can identify with your words so much... Thanks for sharing your heart. :)
Reply
Rose
1/13/2013 01:00:18 am
Thank you Kristie, writing does help me get through this and I hope it helps others to see (pardon the pun) that they are not alone.
Reply
Chris
1/14/2013 12:13:06 am
This is a great blog Rose, I hope you continue to open your heart and chronicle your continuing journey for all to read and learn from.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
January 2018
|