Blah, BLah, BLOG
Rose in running clothes, smiling, throwing leaves up in the air. Beautiful, colorful fall day. I think now that I am using the cane more, it seems there are less bruises, less accidents and more confidence. Really? A cane can do that? Yes, it can! With encouragement of others, particularly those who uses the cane gently pushes me on to walk the path in sweeps. The sounds of a tap side to side is becoming a familiar sound. It is a sound of reassurance, I shall not fall, but to walk with my cane standing tall. It was just weeks ago when I was feeling so much angst and fear towards my cane. Now, I feel more comfortable and I am accepting it as a part of me and who I am. Don't mistaken me, I still will not let Ushers to define me. I am still me. The cane will just be an accessory. I live in a small town where you don't see many people walking around with a white cane, so I get a lot of people staring at me. I have always cared about what people think. People staring at me, feeling pity or shock, whatever their reason is, it has always made me feel like I am second class citizen. Well, I have to stop feeling that way and get on with my journey into blindness. Yes, it is a journey into blindness and I have to explore the world with eyes that don't see and ears that don't hear well. Just because I have accepted using my cane, I will still go through the merry go around of emotions, it would not be real if I didn't. That is part of my acceptance, to allow myself to grieve and to grow as a person. Life is always about changes, that applies to everyone, including myself. For those who don't know me, I have Usher's type 2. I was born with moderate to severe hearing loss, started my education in a special class for the deaf using ASL as part of my communication. It wasn't until I was nearly 16 that I was diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa (which in my case, started with night blindness, then developed tunnel vision and now have approximately 10 degrees of peripheral vision left - healthy eyes have approx. 160 degrees). The changes is ongoing, and hopefully this disease will not take me to the path of complete darkness. For now, I see light, colors and the beauty around me, and I shall take advantage of that as much as a can, see and do as much as I can, one tap at a time. So, if you don't mind, I'm going for a run! dedicated to my friend Andrea xx
12 Comments
Andrea
11/24/2012 02:34:36 am
I'm so proud of you!
Reply
Chris
11/24/2012 03:13:26 am
Rose, your continuing story unfolds with such emotion, it cannot fail to stir those who read it. As with so many I have had the privilege to meet, through facebook, the RP Social and just knowing you. Their, and your continuing journey which you recount here, is done with dignity and poise, an obvious amount of reluctance, and a true reflection of the bravery those I have met face daily.
Reply
Denise Lange
11/24/2012 03:28:12 am
Rose as I read this I am humbled. Your courage in the face of adversity is awe inspiring.
Reply
11/24/2012 03:31:57 am
Thank you Rose for sharing! You describe the exact feelings I have about using my cane and worrying what others think of me... I hope to one day soon just get over it and do it, like you are doing! I've only really used my cane while traveling - but once I get home, I fold it up and stumble about like a fool. Sounds ridiculous, but I have the strange feeling you probably know where I'm coming from. Thanks again for sharing, because sharing our true experiences helps us all! Blessings...
Reply
Ramona Rice
11/24/2012 04:25:03 am
You couldn't have said/written it better, Rose. Thank you SO much for sharing this. *Encore!*
Reply
11/24/2012 06:39:55 am
I am so glad to hear this from you. You should send this to all the blind and visually impaired people you know. We all know it's a very hard path to use, but you have to learn to go down it laughing and dancing all the way. Keep up the great work and smile at the world and it will smile back.
Reply
bill vinton
11/24/2012 07:20:02 am
Humility, it's a great thing...thanks Rose for allowing me to get my own issues in perspective.
Reply
Marie-Josée
11/24/2012 07:28:29 am
Love the way you write, simple but so powerful because you write with your heart.
Reply
Rose
11/24/2012 11:03:33 pm
Thank you all for you kind comments. It has been an incredible journey so far.
Reply
Nora
12/1/2012 12:29:45 am
Very well written Rose <3 I always enjoy your insight and know that you somehow manage to put in to words what so many of us are feeling! Thank you
Reply
Yvonne V.
8/28/2013 01:26:52 pm
HI,
Reply
Rose
8/29/2013 06:26:58 am
Thank you Yvonne for being a puppy raiser/walker! It is so important to raise awareness about guide dogs and to be mindful of others, no matter what our disabilities are. Everyone deserves to live full lives and to be respected xxRose
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
January 2018
|